so overwhelmed

suddenly it seems that there are so many things happening to my life now. studies. friendships. tuition. money. mind. health. sj. my heart doesnt seem to be beating at the correct pace. my mind doesnt seem to be thinking the right and correct way. everything seems to be a blur to me. a week can juz pass lidat w/o me knowing, with me rushing from place to place, doing things one after another, losing my sleep. i cant find anything interesting or things that make me excited anymore. im stuck in this mundane life. stuck in this stupid idiot situation where i cant take a step forward neither can i take one backward. im so tired suddenly. i can't seem to phrase my thoughts into a proper post. i'm feeling more than confused now. things i thought to be, were false. things i thought i wanted, i no longer pine for. things i thought were finally over, came right back and smacked me in my stoned, emotionless, face. and i'm still stoned. i guess it's time for it again. it's time for me to break free from all my shackles, leave everything behind and escape. disappear. freeze. i can. i will. i shall. i wanna get away from it all. leave. get out. questions, many of them are flying through my mind, as if they are waiting for some answers arrows to shoot them down. dun ask me why. cos i simply dunoe. i juz hate this kind of feeling. not knowing what you are doing. not knowing what u are supposed to do, except to keep studying, doing assignments, going for tuitions. it sux.

if only things were clear. if only feelings can be expressed as freely. if only i know. if only u know. if only everything is so straight-forwarded... den there will be no regrets. den there will be no confusion. den there will be no questionings. den there will be no heartaches......